? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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