What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
