it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
