how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
