I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
