I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
