Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
