the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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