Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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