So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
