i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
