so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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