How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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