If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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