Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
