guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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