; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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