I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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