dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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