Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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