Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
