Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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