Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm bleeding and have questions
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
