my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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