She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
