That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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