I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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