you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Holy shit dude........stairs
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
