so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
