i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
