i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
