Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She bit a glass in half.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
