i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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