She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
