im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
