Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
