k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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