I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
