I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
