you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
