I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Never joke about your clitoris.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
