It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
