Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
