he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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