He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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