Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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