They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
