everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
