I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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