You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
