I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
