And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize