My Higher Power is John Stamos
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
