i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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