dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
